By Jake Lamberton.
The advancement of the internet throughout our lives has been a marvellous technological achievement, which has brought us the opportunity to be closer to loved ones, and to learn almost anything with a quick search. But alongside the benefits, there are a number of downsides to this amazing technology, many of which can relate to social media.
In pre-historic times, our brains were always on the lookout for danger. If you were able to anticipate a situation in which you might be kicked out of your clan and were able to avoid that situation you may have just saved your life, as being alone often meant being dead. Now, this was very helpful when we had to contend with woolly mammoths, sabre-toothed tigers and wolves but this ability often does not translate to modern life where we don’t have the same predators and our social groups encompass hundreds or thousands of people.
When you go on social media and start scrolling, what do you notice you get caught up in? Do you start to compare yourself to other people you see? Do you start to think about how you are not as smart, good looking, rich, successful or talented as other people? If so you may be tuning in to something that is left over from our prehistoric ancestors, something that our mind does very well, which is comparing ourselves to others to make sure we are always a valuable member of a group. If these comparisons motivate you to move more towards the person you want to be then great! Utilise that motivation! But if you find yourself feeling anxious, depressed, frustrated, angry, overwhelmed and annoyed by social media then potentially there might be room to unhook yourself from some of those thoughts and comparisons that pop up.
You can give this a shot with one technique. When you start to compare yourself with others on social media take a moment and recognise what you are thinking and say to yourself ‘I’m thinking X’. Then unhook yourself from that thought by saying ‘I’m noticing that my mind is thinking X’.
For example:
- Notice the thought “this person is way better looking than I am”. Then say to yourself “I’m thinking that this person is way better looking than I am”. Then say to yourself “I’m noticing that my mind is thinking this person is way better looking than I am”.
- Notice the thought “I’ll never be as good as this person”. Then say to yourself “I’m thinking that I’ll never be as good as this person”. Then say to yourself “I’m noticing that my mind is thinking I’ll never be as good as this person”.
- Notice the thought “this person is so lucky and my life is so bad right now”. Then say to yourself “I’m thinking that this person is so lucky and my life is so bad right now”. Then say to yourself “I’m noticing that my mind is thinking this person is so lucky and my life is so bad right now”.
Give it a shot right now with any thoughts popping into your head. Does that give you a bit of distance between yourself and those thoughts?
Next time you go on social media start to notice if your mind is doing one of those things, it is best at and comparing you to this huge social group that sits in this endless digital space. If it is, unhook from those thoughts! Then ask yourself does scrolling social media take me more towards the person I want to be? If not go do something in line with your values! Go cook, read a book, do some mindfulness, exercise, play with your kids, just sit there and do nothing, watch TV, do some work or connect with someone you love in real-time.
