by Melissa Bourchier- Psychologist
There are many questions that bring people to think about mindfulness. And many questions that I ask my clients, or that they might ask me:
- What is the mind?
- Where is my mind right now?
- What does it mean to be fully present?
- How can I fully show up for my life?
- What do you mean ‘practice’?
- What do you mean non-judgemental?
- What is ‘mindfulness’?
and…
- What’s the big deal? Stop with the word ‘noticing’; why do you keep talking about awareness?
I first came to mindfulness when studying research regarding mindfulness based cognitive therapy (MBCT) several years ago. Engaging in the professional development I began to ask myself, and continue to ask myself, the questions above. What is my mind? And where is it right now? How can I be less judgemental of myself? How I can really enjoy this cup of tea? What was it really like to engage in that conversation with my friend?
People ask me: what is mindfulness? My answer varies from day to day, but comes back to: it is a way of being aware of your thoughts, feelings, body, and environment; without holding on or judging. Mindfulness is not about changing thoughts or feelings, but about changing our relationship with our thoughts, feelings and actions; so that we observe with perspective and compassion. When I say ‘mindfulness’ many people picture yogis on mats saying ‘ommm’ with crossed legs. But this isn’t just about meditation, it’s about connecting. Yes, we practice through meditation, but being fully in your mind is more about connecting with yourself, with your surrounds, and with your day throughout your day. Having said that; we can help ourselves to develop this observer role by practicing mindfulness regularly and frequently.
Sometimes, we set aside short periods of our day: 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 20 minutes; to engage first with the breath (noticing the rise and fall of the chest, the feeling of air moving in through the nose and out through the mouth), then our body (scanning with openness and curiosity but not judgement; from the feet to the ankles to the calves, to the knees… and so on, noticing places of tension or discomfort and also places of gentleness), then our thoughts (being aware of the words and images that enter our mind and letting them move as they choose, sometimes the mind will focus on one thing and sometimes it will scatter and run, notice the speed of those movements, notice the content, notice the feelings associated with the thoughts, notice the actions associated with those feelings).
By setting aside that time to practice we can develop the skills that help us to use mindfulness and be more aware and compassionate throughout the rest of our day. Sometimes the practice is easy to engage in and sometimes the day or the mind gets in the way. You don’t have to sit criss-cross! Many people purport that mindfulness is the key to happiness. I think that’s a lot of pressure to put on a practice that shucks aside pressure.
The research tells us that people who practice mindfulness do have greater rates of happiness. But I think it is important to remember that feelings, like happiness, are transient and changeable. The evidence also tells us that people who practice mindfulness have fewer health difficulties, see their doctors less often, have less complications associated with stress, and less stress in general. They also have more feelings of fulfillment in relationships and at work. There are benefits for cognitive functioning such as attention, memory and learning. And MBCT, the specific therapy, has strong evidence for preventing relapse into major depressive disorder. Mindfulness, not just MBCT, is correlated with better mental health. There are several evidence-based therapies used by psychologists that also incorporate mindfulness and are supported by research to have beneficial outcomes.
But again, mindfulness is not a cure for pain; it is not a magic does of happiness. Mindfulness, and the practice of observing our thoughts, feelings and actions, helps us see how we create unnecessary suffering and how we can choose to engage in other paths. 5 minutes of practice a day can help develop those mindfulness skills. But sometimes 5 minutes can feel like a lot!
A gentle way to engage in mindfulness in a 30 second, 3 breath, moment might be the following: Notice the pull of gravity on the body. Notice parts of your body connected with the ground or with any furniture, or holding an object. Notice how your chest or belly moves with a slow breath in through your nose, and how the body settles with the slow breath out through your mouth. Notice the feeling of the air moving past your lips and nostrils with your next slow breath in through your nose, and the feeling of the air moving out through mouth. Notice your thoughts; the words and images that move into your mind with each breath and move on whenever they choose. Not trying to change the thoughts that come to mind, just being aware of what thoughts are in the mind while you engage in your day. And there’s no need to judge thoughts. No need to change them.
These exercises can be like a re-set button. Or they can be a chance to allow the mind to wander without judgement. They can be a chance to connect with your environment before you get on with things. You might engage in these short mindful moments while sitting in your chair at work, while waiting for your computer to log-on, when sitting in a waiting room, when you wash your hands, while searching for your coffee cup, when you’re unpacking your grocery trolley, when your kids give you a goodnight cuddle. Just notice your thoughts, your breath, and your actions. Ask yourself: where is my mind right now?
