Do you want to spend the next few weeks arguing, telling the kids to be quiet, and trying to distract from fear? What if our kids are able to look back on these few months and say ‘remember when we had so much fun staying together at home?’
We acknowledge that this pandemic is scary and stressful. As families move to being at home together for weeks at a time,new stresses will arise (like school holidays…but stuck at home, and with societal fears on top). If you’re schooling your kids at home you will be stressed about managing their behaviour and keeping their learning up. Your kids will be stressed because their routine has changed, their parents can’t explain things like their teachers can, and the TV/iPad/game-console is just… over… there… You’ll be worried about the world. The kids will be worried about the world. There are kids having panic attacks because their cough/sneeze might be Coronavirus. The kids will be bored, they will go nuts, and you might still have work to do from home. But… Do you want to spend the next few weeks arguing, telling the kids to be quiet, and trying to distract from fear?
If this is a ‘once in a lifetime’ event I hope that our kids are able to look back on these few months and say ‘Do you remember that time we set up the tent in the loungeroom and camped inside?’ ‘Do you remember those best weeks when we were all home together and we had the most fun?’
What if you could build on the school work being sent home by teachers by engaging in in-vivo learning? Read. Read! READ! Read together with cuddles. Have your kids read to you. Read to them. Read online comics. Read online picture books. Read books from when they were itty-bitty. Read your favourite books to them. Ask questions about books. Write your own books together. Make plays out of your books. Read!
Do puzzles together (visuo-spatial reasoning, fine motor skills); play Monopoly (maths and social skills). Bake (following instructions, measurement, motor skills); plan meals (planning and self-organisation, conceptual thinking, working memory). Build Lego together (following instructions, working with others, visuo-spatial reasoning, fine motor skills). These skills will complement the school work your kids are doing by applying them to real life activities, and the learning will be strengthened by the memory of doing activities with their parents. Your kids won’t be able to learn if they’re annoyed at you, stressed, or scared.
And more than that, cuddle. Camp in your own backyard. If it is safe and comfortable to do so tell your kids about your own childhood memories, break out the photo albums. Play dress ups. Paint each others faces. Dress up for dinner and have a family restaurant. Play ‘the floor is lava!’, or make your own Ninja Warrior course out of cushions. Have a Teddy Bears’ Picnic. Teach them a dance to your favourite song. Play charades. Plant a garden.
Remember to create space for yourselves and each other too. When everyone is trapped together the pressure can increase, even if you’re having the most wonderful time. Go for a short walk. Have some moments where people are in separate rooms. Meditate together using Smiling Mind through the children’s gateway which has some wonderful family friendly meditations. Maintain social connection with people outside the family, your friends who normally see you through the ups and the downs.
Turn this time into a story your kids tell their kids about for the right reasons. Let the worry be there in the background and give the kids love and fun and learning to balance it out. It will work for you too.
By Melissa Bourchier, Paediatric Psychologist
