15 Mar SUICIDE PREVENTION MONTH: How Can you Make a Difference?

What you should know about saving the life of someone who is contemplating suicide.
Can you really make a difference?

With suicide being the leading cause of death for Australians aged between 15 and 441, it is important to know we can all make a difference in saving someone’s life.

One of the biggest myths about suicide is believing talking about it will result in people becoming suicidal or worsening their suicidal intentions. We know this is not the case. On the contrary, we know people contemplating suicide are ambivalent about it because they don’t want to end their life necessarily; they just want their pain and suffering to end.

Before we begin to talk about what you can do to help someone who is contemplating suicide, it is important for you to be able to recognise what to look out for:

1. Talking about killing or hurting themselves constantly: ‘I wish I had never born’, ‘if I was run over by a truck I’d be ok with that’, ‘I wish I could just to go to sleep and never wake up’, ‘people would be better off if I died’.

2. Talking, writing or listening to music about death or dying constantly.

3. Talking about accessing or gaining access to things such as pills, drugs and weapons that can be used to suicide.

4. Talking about how ‘unbearable’ or hopeless they feel about the future.

5. Neglecting personal appearance or care.

6. Becoming socially withdrawn.

7. Engaging in self-destructive behaviours such as using drugs, reckless driving, and unsafe sex.

8. Saying good-byes: visiting family and friends and giving possessions away and/ or saying good-bye as if they won’t be seen again.

9. Expressing a great sense of calmness after having been extremely depressed.

Now that you know some of the warning signs of suicide, we can talk about what you can do to help someone:

1. Talk to the person you are concerned about: Once again it’s important if you suspect someone is contemplating suicide or are concerned about them, for you talk to them. Remember you will not make them contemplate suicide or make their feelings of suicide worse. On the contrary, it will help the person not feel so isolated and know someone cares. So what’s the best way to talk to someone you may ask? There’s no such thing. What’s important is for you to show you care and are concerned about them. The simplest way is to just ask: Are you OK? I have noticed lately you…………., I’m worried about you because…………, you haven’t seem yourself lately, I want you know I’m here for you.

2. Take the time to listen and offer support: Listening to someone you suspect is contemplating suicide is so important. Let the person know you are there for them and are willing to hear them out. Encourage them to seek help. You could offer help them make phone calls and accompany them to appointments. The first port of call should be a Family doctor who will then make a referral to a Psychologist and possibly a Psychiatrist. It is important to act as soon as possible. This will result in the person not only getting the much needed help, but also likely to feel hopeful about their future knowing help is in place. This is turn is likely to stop suicidal thoughts from worsening.

3. Don’t be judgemental. Be sympathetic: Often people who are suicidal tend to see themselves as ‘a burden’, be highly self critical and put themselves down. Try to be sympathetic and calm. Once again, let them know even though you may not necessarily understand exactly how they feel, you understand they are hurting and you want to be there for them.

4. Be mindful of promising confidentiality: It’s important for you to act as soon as possible once you are concerned for someone’s safety. This may mean talking to a health professional or even a next of kin. So if you have promised to keep it a secret you may be torn between doing the right thing by them and telling someone who can help.

5. Ask if they have a plan. This is often a difficult question to ask. Remember talking about it and asking questions helps the person feel supported not more suicidal. You could just ask the person if they have made plans to suicide. If so, don’t be afraid to ask what they are and if they means to do it (e.g. have they purchased extra medication, do they have access t drugs, etc.). If someone shares with you they have a plan and means to carry it out, it is important to act as soon as possible. Having a plan means they have seriously thought about ways to put an end to their suffering and the chances of them putting them into action is high.

6. Know emergency numbers:

• Lifeline (13 11 14)

• Suicide line1300 651 251

• Beyond blue 1300 22 4636

• Suicide call back service 1300 659

• Kids helpline (5-25year olds) 1800 55 1800

• Men’s line Australia 1300 78 99 78

• Crisis Assessment Team:

• Emergency 000. You can call the police. They are more than happy to do ‘people’s safety checks’ and if needed they will take people to the hospital – emergency department- to be assessed and be provided with further supports.

7. Don’t leave the person alone: If you are concerned and uncertain for the person’s safety, don’t leave them alone. Make sure you stay with them until you know help has been organised and they have someone else around when you leave.

8. Follow up: Just because the person has accessed professional help, it doesn’t mean they are ok. It’s important you touch base with them to see how they are going and how treatment is going. Remember suicidal people see themselves as being a burden so they may not necessarily ask for help. Remind them you are there for them and provide help without waiting for them to ask for it.

9. Get the person involved: Include the person in social events and encourage them to become more active. Maybe you could offer to go for walks together or do some exercise classes together.

10. Be mindful of meaningful dates: things such as anniversaries can be a trigger for people. Touch base with them if you are aware of any dates of significance and once again let them you are thinking of them.

11. Remove potential tools they can use to suicide: If you are aware of any plans and things they may use to suicide is important to ensure access to this is not only limited, but denied. Things once again to look out for are large amounts of pills, access to drugs, access to alcohol and weapons for example.

Remember: you can make a difference in saving someone’s life. You don’t have to be an expert. All you need is to show genuine concern, care and willingness to help. By doing this alone you will increase feelings of connection for the person and in turn reduce feelings of isolation and the likelihood that person suiciding.

If you are concerned about someone, call to speak to one of our highly skilled psychologists and we’ll ensure to prioritise them to see them as soon as possible.

Carmen Beaumont-
Principal Psychologist & Director.

References:
1. Australian Bureau of Statistics (2016). Causes of Death, Australia, 2015. Catalogue No. 3303.0. Belconnen, ACT: Commonwealth of Australia. Accessed September 28, 2016 from: http:/www.abs.gov/AUSSTATS/abs@.nsf/allprimarymainfeautures/47E19CA15036B04BCA2577570014668B?opendocument